being me

forgotten.

2009-06-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really hate life. my family is actin like i dont exist. i tink its because im a middle child. middle child always forgotten. i hate being good all the time. i tink i have to try double, triple hard to get anybody to notice me. people always tellin me what to do. they never care for what im feelin.i tink even if im dead they dont care. i have to care for what everybody is feeling. i cant even make them a lil angry, then they shout at me. i hate feelin useless and a pushover. whatever i sae nobody ever listen. IM SICK OF IT. I REALLY FEEL LIKE SHOUTING.

presentation

2009-02-27T07:34:00.000-08:00

so on wed the 25th, me and my friends had our PR presentation. the theme of that presentation was purple valentine's. so we came all dressed in purple top and black bottom. we drew our own name on the shirt. it was childish and cute. the days b4 the presentation was HELL in my opinion. I meant like one of my grup members dont even come 4 most of the meetings. then, one of my other grup members kept defending that other person. so at lunch, we actually talked it out with her. she end up crying. we were like, we don wan to see the drama. we were very pissed with her. the ting was, she is a devout christian but she keep backstabbing us on the back. she kept complaining about us to our form teacher. she also tell the rest of our classmate about us. the bad things that we do but she didnt sae anythin about her. really, a person can only take so much. so back to dae of the presentation, i was very excited.i borrowed my sis digital camera and i took pictures of us preparing 4 the presentation. so in order to focus on the presentation, i asked my classmate to actually take photos of us presentin. he took lots of photos. but when i get the camera back and i look through it, i was shocked. he took the rest of my grup presentin but nt me. i was like its my camera yet he didnt take my photo. i was like SUPER SHOCKED. so i actually asked him and he said that he was focusin too much on my presentation that he forgot to take my photos. i was a little glad but pissed too. in the end, our group received an A for our presentation. thank god nw theres no more projects with that psycho. GOD i really hate her.

twilight

2009-01-13T05:38:00.000-08:00

so i watch twilight like 4 times and it is the best movie so far. I even watch twilight at 1 in the morning. my sister and my brother decided to celebrate the new year outside so we went to orchard to catch a movie. They want to watch yes man but it's fully book. so it's either transporter 3 or twilight. the guys were outvoted by the gerl. in the end, only i enjoy the movie. the rest were very restless. everytime i watch twilight, its like magic. i like the edward's father, carlisle. he's like a freakin supermodel. like seriously there's no flaw in him. when he talk, i was like "WOW". I also like emmett, jasper and edward. I hope they dont change the cast for the sequel, new moon. I finish reading the 4 books and it was the best books ever.

Random Touts

2008-11-23T19:56:00.000-08:00

when u wake up in the morning, what is the first ting that u would tink of??? people sae that u will be what u tink of first ting in the morning. when i wake up, i always sing in my head. Maybe i will become a professional singer?? who noes. i wish that i don analyse ting so much. when my fren walks in, i always tink why he wear that colour.. Seriously, i need to get a life. After school, i go home. Boring sial. FYI, i never write in malay on my blog. people see me they sae im arrogant but im not, its juz that i don like to smile at people unless they smile first. Its my habit. i also have very low self esteem. when people look at me, i always wonder whether they are talking about me. I hate my aofa teacher, she is such a bore. Seriously, my cat is better. Chelsea drew 0-0 on sat. So does Manchester United and Liverpool. I tink they conspire with each other, one club dont move, the other two dont move. I mean Manchester United is bloody pathetic. They have cristiano ronaldo, wayne rooney but they still cant score. Wat the hell!!

secret crush

2008-10-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

i noe people doesnt read my blog so i dare to write this.this is my deep dark secret. i actually have a crush on my uncle. He is like so freakin fine. He's funny, handsome and such a caring man.My family visits my other relatives during the fourth hari raya. his family happens to follow us and from morning till nite, i admire his face. WOW. he like to smile. i hope i can see him again.

GUYS

2008-07-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

why do guys have to be such jerks??? when i happen to like a guy, he happens to be a jerk. Life is so difficult n fucking hard!!! i met a guy i tout he is so nice but he turn out to be a jerk.

BLAZE CAMP!!

2008-07-03T06:07:00.000-07:00

on 30th june, i went for blaze camp 1. at first i tout it would be boring cuz i don know any one there. but after i went through the camp, it was so much fun.we get to do whale watching. i got leg cramp playing that game but it was awesome. then we play mine field. it took me 3 tries to get across. but it was worth it.The next dae, we get to to do the wet activities.the first place that we go to was the challenge valley.we had to go through the tires, i tout i couldnt do it but with my frenz encourangement n support, i get through it. then we go to the milo pond. it was exhilarating.overall, the camp was such a success to me.

i would like to tank my camp mates, syamil( my leader), shobana, faidhi, hamizan, izzat, johan, isaac, israel, leeyun, mary,wei qiong, zahier, sha,criz, jie hui, stephanie, muslihah n wan zheng( i tink). thank you guys. u guys have been a great pillar of strenght to me.

love sucks

2008-06-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

this few week i've been asking myself " do love really exist?".To me love doesnt exist. love suppose to be something that is magical. something that make u believe. but i dont feel that. everytime i see a cute guy, i don ask whether he's married type or not. At first, i tout its love but nw is juz lust. everytime i see a cute guy i don care about how he is inside.its nt my brain talking but my lust. is it that hard to find true love???.

humiliating experience

2008-06-02T04:26:00.000-07:00

someting humiliating happen to me at school juz nw. There's this guy, i like to hang out with him.we kinda understand each other. He like to come over to my seats and we juz talk. juz nw, he came over to my seat to eat. he dont want the teacher to see.my frenz kinda tease me with him. This guy like to talk nonsense.my class teacher point out that after seating with me, he started to spout nonsense.the teacher said it must be beneficial. my fren who was seating next to me said that its because of me. the whole was laughing. it was SUPER HUMILIATING!!!!!. seriously, if i can go home juz nw, i would have.now, he's nt talking to me. we'll see whether he will talk to me tmr. I REALLY HOPE SO.

matador

2008-03-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

has any of u guys actually watch bullfighting ? either on tv or real life?. I watched whacked out sports juz now and i saw how they treated the bulls, its heartbreaking. They put these kinds of pins on the bull and they taunt the bulls. i mean its stupid. why do they have to hurt the bulls? the bulls doesnt hurt them, why do they have to hurt the bull?? god its infuriating. sometimes to me an animal has more brains than human. Human dont really think of their action but what goes around comes around. I really hope that these people get what they deserve.

contender asia

2008-03-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

So does anybody watch the contender asia? i watch it every week. I totally love this fighter. His name is yodsaenklai and he is so gorgeous. i mean his lip is so perfect. Then the way he talk is so cute. i want to watch their finale but its a little expensive. when i watch them every week, they are so funny. but last week episode has got to be the saddest. i expect the 2 thais to meet in the finale.but for some stupid reason, they fight in the quarter final. i know naruepol felt sad to leave but he's doing it for a fren. It's very honourable. Its really a privilege to be frens with them.
YOU GUYS ROCK!!!!!

exams!!!

2008-03-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

At last my exams is over!! i totally blew it on my exam. I told my mum that i want to stay at home the week b4 my exam to study but i end up lazying around. Me n my frens actually make plan to go to school but being the lazy ass that we are, we slept through. Any wae, we totally didnt prepare for the papers. when i got the paper, i was dumbfounded. SERIOUSLY, it was so difficult. i had a hard time even reading the paper.After the paper, i was so pissed off, my brain just couldnt take it no more.

Anywae,there's this one guy that i totally HAD a crush on. he's cute lovable and shy.me n him we dont see eye to eye on loads of thing.once, he make noise in the class by banging at the table.i told my fren to tell him to shut up as a joke. my fren went to tell him n he actually take it to heart.he seriously need to check his sense of humour. now he's juz like any guy i meet on the streets. nt cute no more. i dont why but i seem to always fall 4 jerks. i mean like acting like they own the world. totally, they need a reality check

whats it like being nobody.

2008-02-28T18:29:00.000-08:00

hei guys!! i know u guys have ur own soundtrack to ur own life . 4 me, its the kill by 30 seconds to mars. the lyrics totally calls to me." I tried to be someone else but nothing seems to change i know now this is who i am inside. finally found myself. People have been trying to change me even if i dont want to be anybody else but me. It's hard 4 them 2 accept me 4 who i am.